Hot Cross Buns! Happy Easter!

I have a huge fear of worms, and worm-like creatures. It is my one irrational fear, and they are the only creatures that’ll have me screaming like a 10-year-old girl at a Justin Bieber concert.  I’m not the biggest fan of spiders and cockroaches, but I can easily just walk away and ask Frank to remove them. But worms, worms make me shudder and want to scratch my back and gag all at the same time.

The Pig Palace always gets an invasion of crawlies in April. I’m not sure if it’s the sudden drop in temperature or the increase in rain, but they move in with us in droves. Lucky for me the only worm-like creatures to make it into the perimeter so far were the five slugs sitting on top of the bin outside. (Which Frank was ordered in a hysterical voice to remove before I moved.)

The most irritating crawlies at the moment are the cockroaches. We’ve had our share of the ants with giant noses, but they only go for almond meal and are easy to get rid of. The cockroaches however scurry all over the place when you least expect it, and they don’t even bother to tread softly. Last night I opened the kitchen cupboard to find a jet-black roach staring at me. He then proceeded to waltz into the dark recesses and scratch around for food. I could actually hear him trying to decide between the peanuts and the risotto rice. Despite my frantic waiving of my flop-flop, he lived to feed another day. I’m almost certain that one of these days I’m going to come home and find him with my dressing gown and slippers on, drinking a glass of our best red. Or in my bed with his arm around me.

So, to use up all the good snacks from this roach’s selection and to celebrate Easter, I have made a batch of hot cross buns. They are delicious straight out of the oven, and also great toasted the next day. And they are roach-free!

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!

Hot Cross Buns – recipe from the BBC Good Food website

FOR THE DOUGH
450g strong white flour , plus extra for dusting
2 x 7g sachets easy-blend yeast
caster sugar
150ml warm milk
1 egg , beaten
50g unsalted butter , melted, plus extra for greasing
oil , for greasing

THE SPICES AND DRIED FRUIT
1 tsp ground cinnamon
½ tsp mixed spice
¼ tsp grated nutmeg
100g currants

TO DECORATE
4 tbsp plain flour
2 tbsp granulated sugar

Put the flour, yeast, caster sugar and 1 tsp salt into a large mixing bowl with the spices and dried fruit and mix well.

Make a well in the centre and pour in the warm milk, 50ml warm water, the beaten egg and the melted butter.

Mix everything together to form a dough – start with a wooden spoon and finish with your hands. If the dough is too dry, add a little more warm water; if it’s too wet, add more flour.

Knead in the bowl or on a floured surface until the dough becomes smooth and springy. Transfer to a clean, lightly greased bowl and cover loosely with a clean, damp tea towel. Leave in a warm place to rise until roughly doubled in size – this will take about 1 hr depending on how warm the room is.

Tip the risen dough onto a lightly floured surface. Knead for a few secs, then divide into 12 even portions – I roll my dough into a long sausage shape, then quarter and divide each quarter into 3 pieces.

Shape each portion into a smooth round and place on a baking sheet greased with butter, leaving some room between each bun for it to rise.

Use a small, sharp knife to score a cross on the top of each bun, then cover with the damp tea towel again and leave in a warm place to prove for 20 mins until almost doubled in size again. Heat oven to 200C/180C fan/gas 6.

When the buns are ready to bake, mix the plain flour with just enough water to give you a thick paste. Spoon into a piping bag (or into a plastic food bag and snip the corner off) and pipe a white cross into the crosses you cut earlier.

Bake for 12-15 mins until the buns are golden and sound hollow when tapped on the bottom. While still warm, melt the granulated sugar with 1 tbsp water in a small pan, then brush over the buns.

Mid-week, low-faff, low-fat risotto

Everyone has that day where they (heaven forbid) don’t feel like cooking. Or they don’t have as much time as usual. Or, in my case, forgot to take the turkey mince out the freezer this morning. And everyone, in those situations, has a simple recipe they can fall back on that is quick and hassle-free.

While going through a “I can’t afford meat” stage in the early days of London, my friend Peanut and I discovered the joys of vegetarian cooking. Once we had passed the days of packet stir-fries and smash (oh yes, but at least it wasn’t baked beans on toast. Not that there is anything wrong with that…) we moved on to more adventurous dishes like chickpea curries and spicy risotto. Which is where I found my incredible, budget-proof, idiot-proof, vegetarian risotto.

This risotto recipe is adapted every time it’s used, and while making it at least once a fortnight I have only messed it up once. (Too much curry powder. Not nice.) It doesn’t have alcohol or cheese, but is still sticky and delicious. It definitely tastes healthy, but really naughty at the same time. You can add meat to the dish, and I have been known to add prawns and chorizo more often than not. You can also add any veg you have in the fridge. I would go as far as to say: as long as you have a bag of arborio rice, some stock and a carrot or two; you can make something tasty in 20 minutes!

rice and spices in the pan

Delicious vegetarian risotto – a lollcakes original!

This feeds 4 with leftovers. I am incapable of cooking for the right amount of people, and fear tiny portions…

olive oil
2 cups arborio/risotto rice
5 cups chicken or vegetable stock
1 big onion, finely diced. Any colour will do
3 cloves garlic, crushed
1 small red chilli (can be omitted for sensitive tummies)
1 tsp turmeric
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tbsp mild curry powder (can be omitted, needs more paprika if so)
2 carrots, finely diced
2 courgettes, cubed
1 red capsicum, cubed
a handful mushrooms, sliced
1 cup frozen peas

Fry the onion in olive oil on a low heat until soft and transparent. Add turmeric, paprika, curry powder, chilli and garlic and fry for a minute until fragrant. Add in rice, and fry for a minute. Add in stock and carrots and bring up to the boil. Once boiling, leave to simmer for 10 minutes, stirring after 5.

Add courgettes, capsicum and mushrooms; and simmer for another 5 minutes. Add in frozen peas, stir, and simmer for 5 minutes. The risotto should be sticky and the rice should be cooked. Dish into a nice big bowl and scoff!

– you can add any other veg you feel would be good, just add any hard veg in with the carrots and any soft veg in with the courgettes. You can add any cooked meat in at the end.